Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That reminds me...we need to get swords
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
