Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
