you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
