Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
