I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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