He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize