also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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