T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
