member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
