I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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