Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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