I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
