Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
