Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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