Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
