That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Randomize