I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sext me about skeletons
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
