Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
