I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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