which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
