there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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