She's JV to your varsity
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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