Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
