i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
