38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
