Will you blow on my dice?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
