blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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