Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
