matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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