Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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