I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize