how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
