he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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