so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
sarcasm needs its own font
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
