My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
