If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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