i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
