I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
