Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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