I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize