there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
