Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
