ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
