This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
