Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
