Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize