Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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