I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
