Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
