Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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