how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
