Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize