No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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