dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
