Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
